


A Great and Terrible Beauty

by Toricchi



Category: Dragon Kishi-dan | Dragon Knights
Genre: Challenge Response, Crossdressing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-10
Updated: 2012-09-10
Packaged: 2017-11-13 23:09:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/508722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toricchi/pseuds/Toricchi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was kind of weird that Alfeegi made a more attractive woman than he did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Great and Terrible Beauty

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DragonBeak](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonBeak/gifts).



> An initial attempt at fic for dragonbeak from a long ago fic challenge. The request ran as such: "I'll go ahead and be shameless about this, Ruwalk and Alfeegi cross dressing! Yaoi is much preferred but gen could do as well. Really big, poofy dresses. It is important you discuss the poofiness of the dresses." Sorry I wasn't in time for your birthday :(

"Why, you're even more beautiful than I thought," the king said, catching Alfeegi's face between his hands and tilting his chin up to trail a long finger suggestively along his jaw line. Alfeegi's hands twitched on his skirts, and Ruwalk just hoped he wouldn't blow their cover on the first day. "If I had known Lykouleon was hiding such treasures, I would have paid a visit to Draqueen a long time ago."

Alfeegi blushed furiously, most likely too angry at being manhandled by a foreign king whose fault it was that he was wearing a dress to speak, which Ruwalk was thankful for. Unfortunately for him, the king seemed to take his silence as invitation.

"Shy, my dear? Never to mind, I'm sure I shall learn all about you before long." He traced his finger around Alfeegi's ear, and Alfeegi almost leapt in the air; would have if Ruwalk hadn't pinched him meaningfully. "Until we meet again, _ma cherié_." He gave a curt bow to Ruwalk and Tetheus, as if he'd just noticed them, and Ruwalk gave him a slight curtsey in return. He didn't seem to notice, looking over his shoulder at Alfeegi. 

Probably a good thing. He hadn't gotten the hang of skirts yet.

"The nerve of the man!" Alfeegi spluttered finally. "Did you see that? Grabbing me as if I was a piece of meat!"

"Keep your voice down, _Alliandre_ ," Ruwalk said with a little dig at his ribs. Alfeegi gave him a dirty look, but suddenly became preoccupied with smoothing non-existent creases in his skirt. "Did you forget we're here on a diplomatic mission?"

"What I'd like to know is how Kai-stern got out of this," Alfeegi muttered under his breath. "I'm sure he's accustomed to meeting all sorts of crazy requests."

"He's in Luwa, remember?" he said, and smiled when a servant came to escort them to their room. He waved to Tetheus as the butler took him off to the servant's quarters. Poor guy. He was used to it, though, and unlike Alfeegi, he'd actually come on this mission willingly. He dropped into the best feminine whisper he could, just two young women gossiping. "And, anyway, King Eldrian has met him before. You, on the other hand, never leave the castle so your face is unrecognizable even without all that make-up on."

Alfeegi touched his gloved hand to his cheek self-consciously.

"Still, I thought Tetheus was supposed to prevent that sort of thing!" he hissed. "What was it that Lykouleon called him? A _chaperone_?"

"Oh, I'm sure if anyone actually starts groping you, he'll step in," Ruwalk said, just to watch Alfeegi blanch.

"If Eldrian so much as tries it, he'll regret it!" Alfeegi said, too loudly, and the maid turned around. Ruwalk gave her a placating smile and took Alfeegi by the elbow.

"Remember your manners, _Alliandre_ ," he whispered, and Alfeegi's painted mouth settled into a sulk.

"I don't need you doing it as well, _Rosette_ ," he said, those manicured nails digging in nastily into his palm. "Let's just get this mission over and done with as soon as possible."

"Fine by me," and they lapsed into silence. Ruwalk was relieved for a moment of respite. It was still hard to remember to pitch his voice up despite Raseleane's coaching, and his heels were much higher than he was used to, not to mention the swirls of fabric billowing around his feet.

"These are your chambers. If you should need anything else, please let me know," the maid said.

The door led into an airy, light-filled chamber. French doors opened onto a balcony which overlooked a traditional spring garden. Everything else was typical noble fare—he was slightly alarmed by the size of the vanity, and the number of small bottles scattered over the top of it- except for another door.

"Where does that connect too?" Alfeegi asked, having noticed it at the same time as he did.

"That leads to King Eldrian's private chambers. His Majesty is so honoured to be hosting an envoy from Draqueen that he specifically requested you be placed here, so that he could attend to your needs." The maid curtsied again, and then excused herself.

"More like he's fishing for a new wife," Alfeegi muttered under his breath, and Ruwalk bit back a laugh. Looks like Lykouleon had put his finger on Eldrian's odd request that he send _female_ ministers, or the deal was off. "I hope it's locked at least."

The door didn't open, but a quick search of the surrounding cabinets didn't turn up the key either.

"It must lock from his side," Alfeegi said, defeated.

"Never fear, if he comes to relieve you of your maidenly chastity, I'll fight him off," Ruwalk said gallantly and then paused, wondering exactly how he would do that in petticoats.

"I believe that's why we brought Tetheus," Alfeegi said cuttingly.

"My wounded pride." Ruwalk clutched at his heart. "I hope he's settled in okay."

"We should go see him."

"Can't, remember? You're a noblewoman now; you can't be caught slumming around in the servant's quarters."

"That's ridiculous." Alfeegi frowned. "Surely it's appropriate to display some concern for my vassal's lodgings..."

"See, you are getting into it!" Ruwalk said, and ducked when Alfeegi made to throw a daintily-embroided pillow at him. "If only Cernozura could see you now..."

"If Cernozura could see me now, all she would see are my bruised ribs. I keep forgetting I can't actually breathe properly in this... thing," Alfeegi said, plucking at his bodice.

"Let me loosen it a bit, I'm supposed to be your maid, anyway," Ruwalk offered, and Alfeegi did glare, but only for a moment.

"I can't believe I'm letting you undress me," he complained, but stood up so Ruwalk could get at the back of his dress.

Raseleane and Cernozura had been put in charge of their wardrobes for the trip, and having been given _carte blanche_ by Lykouleon (plus encouragement from a snickering Kai-stern, secure in the knowledge he wasn't going on this mission), they'd really gone all out: lace, frills, buttons, jewels, silk, satin... Alfeegi's eyes had nearly popped out of his head when he'd seen the dressmaker's bill.

Alfeegi's dress was laced up at the back by silky cords, which he pulled undone, hoping like hell he was going to be able to get them done up again. He pushed the fabric aside to get at the stays. "Put your hands on your head," he directed, remembering how Cernozura had dressed them that first time, and undid the tiny knot. He started loosening the lacing, and Alfeegi relaxed visibly.

"Better?"

"If you define 'better' as being actually able to breathe." Alfeegi exhaled noisily. "How do women wear these things all the time?"

"Raseleane says they're quite comfortable, actually," he said, settling the bodice in position and tightening the laces again in small increments. Alfeegi was as skinny as a rake, but the corset did actually help to create the illusion of curves. "Okay?"

"No," Alfeegi said sourly.

"Aside from the fact that you're cross-dressing on a mission with a king who's trying to hit on you, I mean," he said, and tied it off with a flourish. "Done!"

"Bearable," Alfeegi allowed. "I suppose you should put the rest of those abominations away."

" _I_ should?" Ruwalk asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"You are supposed to be my maid, after all," Alfeegi said with a ladylike wave to their trunks and a very unladylike smirk.

"Where's _my_ maid?" he muttered, but popped the latch on the trunk open anyway. Alfeegi made a face when confronted with the ocean of fabric it contained.

"We're only here for a week," he complained. "Why do we need so many dresses?"

"Well, you're supposed to wear a clean one every day, you see," Ruwalk said cheekily, and Alfeegi only levelled a glare at him.

"Dresses for riding, dresses for travelling, dresses for dining..." he trailed off as Ruwalk lifted out a particularly froth-filled creamcake-like concoction."What a waste. I hope that's one of yours."

"You're the fine lady, remember?" he said sweetly, and he could _tell_ Alfeegi was going pale under the rouge. "Nah, I have to agree, it's not your colour. Washes you out."

Alfeegi hit him with his fan.

"Ouch. You're supposed to be using that to flirt, you know, not hitting your sidekick with," he said. "Really unladylike."

"My loyalty to Lykouleon doesn't stretch to flirting with strange men," Alfeegi said primly, storing his fan back in his purse. "I'm here to find out whether Eldrian is doctoring his books, not to find a husband."

"And you'd make such a good wife too. What a shame for the bachelors of this world."

"Ruwalk..." Alfeegi warned.

"Oh, come on, take a look at yourself. Even Kai-stern said you made a pretty girl."

And it was so goddamned wrong that _Alfeegi_ , of all people, could pass so convincingly. He wasn't tall for a man anyway; drown him in enough fabric (and there was enough material in Cernozura's dresses to sink a ship) and he looked petite. Raseleane's magic hands had done something with makeup that made his eyes look big and dark (were his eyelashes longer? They looked longer) and turned his mouth into a sweet, sulky cupid's bow just asking to be kissed; and with his hair falling in a tumble of artistic curls (there was more of it than Ruwalk had realized), well... if Ruwalk had just walked past him on the street not knowing what was capable of coming out of that mouth, he would have looked twice. More than twice. He himself made a pretty good-looking woman, he was proud to say, but Alfeegi was a natural, although he didn't dare mention it. Obviously he and Rune had a lot in common.

"Hmmph." Alfeegi crossed his arms, which just didn't have quite the same effect in drag. "I seem to remember him saying he wouldn't mind taking _Rosette_ for a tumble, either."

"Well." He shrugged in a way that meant _that's Kai-stern for you_. "I think he was just enjoying making you uncomfortable."

"As he was sneaky enough to escape his proper duty on this occasion..." Alfeegi sighed, and consulted a small jewel-encrusted pocketwatch. "It's four o'clock. I need to get at Eldrian's office before he hides everything incriminating, if he hasn't done it already."

"Are you kidding me?" Ruwalk stared.

"What?" Alfeegi said, affronted.

A wicked grin slowly spread across Ruwalk's face. " _You_ , my dear _Alliandre_ , need to dress for dinner."

Alfeegi _did_ pale.

*

After Alfeegi's reaction to it, he really couldn't be blamed for choosing the cream dress, if only just to see Alfeegi's face when he brought it out of the cupboard.

"No," Alfeegi said flat-out. "I refuse to wear something that's going to make me look like a meringue."

"Meringues are in fashion, don't you know," he cracked, and then had to turn away because there was just something too funny about being scolded by a cute girl in an underslip, even if it _was_ Alfeegi.

"Maybe you should get dressed first," Alfeegi said sourly.

"Fine, but you _are_ wearing this," Ruwalk said, draping the offending gown over the back of an armchair. "Go ahead. Choose something for me."

Since he was ostensibly Alfeegi's companion-slash-maid—Raseleane and Cernozura had been very insistent that a woman of "Alliandre's" supposed rank would never travel without at least a small entourage, and since Alfeegi was the accountant, that meant Ruwalk tagging along- his dresses were slightly less flamboyant. 

_Slightly_ less. Alfeegi was a high-ranking noblewoman after all.

Alfeegi eyed the racks of dresses in the cupboard critically. "This one," he decided, slipping it off its hanger.

"You _are_ into it," Ruwalk insisted as he turned around so Alfeegi could unbutton him. "I saw you thinking about which one to choose."

"I was thinking about how annoying it is not even being able to get dressed by ourselves," Alfeegi said. "Don't just throw it down on the bed like that, you'll crease it."

"Yes, _my lady_ ," he said, feeling slightly absurd to be putting a dress away in his smallclothes. "Now it's your turn to play the maid."

"Hardly," Alfeegi snorted, and shoved him toward the mirror.

"Ow, that hurts," Ruwalk said piteously as Alfeegi swept his hair up and pinned it roughly in place with something that felt like nails.

"I need it out of the way. Now hurry up and put that thing on."

"Okay, okay, geez, what did your last slave die of?" he said, and then hurried to step into the dress before Alfeegi ripped his hair out entirely.

He'd been teasing Alfeegi before, but Alfeegi really must have chosen carefully; he'd managed to choose Ruwalk's favourite, as crazy as it was to have a favourite _dress_ , the one both Raseleane and Cernozura had said suited him the best. Maybe it was slightly egotistical—okay, it was very egotistical- but if he was going to be a woman, he wanted at least to be an _attractive_ one. Alfeegi might be usually content to put out whatever came out of his cupboard first, but some people actually paid attention to their appearance.

This dress was deep blood-red, cut in a fashion Cernozura assured him was all the rage right now: sweeping skirts, a bustle (now that felt weird; he wondered how he was supposed to sit down in it) that actually made him look curvy, nipped in at the waist (and thank god for all those early morning training sessions with Alfeegi, the thing was _tight_ ), with short, loose sleeves and gloves that went past his elbows. While Alfeegi struggled with the long train of buttons that marched up his spine, with the help of a fistful of pins, he managed to train his hair into something like he'd seen the ladies at court do, bundled up neatly with a few curls straying out coyly, although it felt like someone was sticking needles in his head. A little ribbon and the picture was complete.

"I suppose you'll do," Alfeegi said grumpily as he did up the last button. "Why are those buttons all so small?"

"Thanks," he said, and he couldn't resist doing just a _little_ twirl for the mirrors, just to watch how the full skirts flared out, the red petticoat just peeking out at the bottom.

He drew the line at hose—no one was going to see his legs, and the assortment of women's undergarments Raseleane and Cernozura had laid out was frankly terrifying; he drew the line at _clips_ \- so he simply propped his legs up on the bed to pull on knee-highs, and stepped into a matching pair of red heels. He was taller than Alfeegi again now. Heh.

"Your turn, Alfeegi," he sing-songed. Alfeegi turned the colour of the dress.

"Perhaps I can get dressed by myself," he said, swallowing visibly. "Really, there's no need for you to help me; I'm sure I can manage on my own..."

" _Strip_ ," Ruwalk said gleefully.

"No, I—Ruwalk! Get _off_ me right this second!"

"I can't believe Raseleane actually managed to talk you into wearing a garter," Ruwalk said a moment later.

*

"Ah, my dear Alliandre," Eldrian said, swooping down on them as soon as they entered the room. "I've been hearing all about you from your man here."

One look at Tetheus suggested that Eldrian had been doing all the talking, and Tetheus had merely been an unfortunate witness to it.

"Ha—have you now?" Alfeegi stuttered, almost panicked, although he should relax; there was no way Tetheus was going to blow their cover.

"Oh yes, I've heard what an intelligent and modest woman you are!" He nodded vehemently.

_Modest_? he mouthed to Tetheus, receiving a slight shrug of the shoulders and what might have been a ghost of a smile in return.

"Oh, I. Ah," Alfeegi said uncomfortably, casting a desperate look at Tetheus when Eldrian took him by the arm.

"Come, my dear, I must introduce you to my people. It's terribly important for you to get acquainted if they're going to become your citizens."

"My _what_?" Alfeegi said, dropping his act in his shock. "Don't you think you're moving a little too fast—" and they disappeared out of view, Eldrian dragging him behind him.

"You could have intervened," Ruwalk said to Tetheus, who had come up to him.

"I didn't think Alfeegi was in any real danger," Tetheus said.

"Just his dignity," Ruwalk agreed solemnly, and they waited, the sounds of Alfeegi protesting clearly audible from the next room. "If anything untoward does happen, I'm pretty sure we'll know about it straight away."

"Certainly," Tetheus agreed.

A long silence.

"You look..." Tetheus began, and then stopped.

"I look..." Ruwalk prompted, unable to hold back a smile as he watched Tetheus struggle to find an appropriate way to compliment him while steadfastly avoiding looking at him. Perhaps Raseleane had been at him too; the idea of the two of them trying to teach Tetheus courtly manners was almost enough to make him break into unladylike laughter.

"Very nice," he finished. "Please pass my regards onto Alfeegi as well."

"Will do. Sure you don't want me to get her to save you a dance as well?" he said coyly, flicking open his fan. He couldn't do it quite as naturally as the women he'd seen, but he was getting the hang of it.

"That won't be necessary," Tetheus said, looking just the tiniest bit uncomfortable. "I need to be looking after the security of both of you."

"Excuse me," a voice broke in. "If I'm not cutting in, might I ask this young lady for her hand?"

Both of them turned in surprise—for a moment Ruwalk had forgotten that everyone else really believed he was a woman. He felt a warm swell of pride. Damn straight, he was a good-looking woman after all. A young, blond man stood before them, gloved hand proffered. Lykouleon hadn't mentioned anything about dancing, but he actually was quite attractive, and Ruwalk wouldn't mind a turn, just to see how he went dancing in these skirts.

"Of course," Tetheus said magnanimously, and the young man bowed and held his hand out to Ruwalk. Tetheus disappeared into the shadows—gone to check on Alfeegi, no doubt- and now that there were no witnesses, Ruwalk had the chance to test out what Raseleane and Cernozura had been trying to teach him. He placed his hand in his.

"I'm Euclid," he said. He _did_ have a very nice smile, and Ruwalk couldn't resist giving his own in return.

"Rosette," he said, bobbing a small curtsey and looking at him coyly from under his eyelashes, just as Raseleane had demonstrated. "Shall we?"

As Euclid led him onto the area cleared for dancing, he almost forgot that he was supposed to follow, and the sensation of a man's heavy hand settling on his hip momentarily confused him. Then the music started, violins bursting into life, and there was no time to adjust; he was being pulled along by Euclid and the music.

Euclid was tall, so even in his heels Ruwalk was shorter; it was strange having to look up to his dance partner. But Euclid danced well, light on his feet, and gently teasing Ruwalk into position when he was unsure of what he was supposed to be doing. The music was sweet and airy, and Euclid, occasionally leaning down to whisper in his ear, had a clever sense of humour, and he forgot he was pretending and let himself be caught up in it all. He might as well have fun if he was stuck doing it, right?

So he allowed Euclid to steer him around the dance floor for two dances, and maybe even flirted harmlessly—he was getting better at the fan trick- and even let Euclid brush a kiss against his cheek when the dance was over. He was breathless, exhilarated; the crowd applauded when they stumbled to their seats. He wanted to find Alfeegi _right now_.

Another blond, not as pretty as Euclid, beseeched him for a dance but he brushed him off; he had other things on his mind. Where was Alfeegi? He hadn't seen him since Eldrian had dragged him off. Tetheus was probably looking after him; if he found one he'd find the other.

The party had spilled over into the surrounding rooms: there were couples taking in the moon on the balcony, sharing brandy and quiet intellectual conversation in the library and groups standing around and talking wildly in the lobby, but no Alfeegi, and he was starting to get worried. People called out to him as he went, but he didn't hear them. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to let Eldrian go off with Alfeegi.

And then he realized what he was thinking. Alfeegi wasn't actually a woman and even if he was he was no fragile flower, for god's sake. He'd be fine. Still, he was probably getting sick of Eldrian's attentions by now; Alfeegi's temper _was_ short, to say the least.

He caught a flash of cream as he entered the next room. Bingo. Alfeegi was seated awkwardly on a loveseat (Ruwalk felt his pain—it was hard to remember to sit like a woman, and it was even harder to manage that much material in your skirts), with Eldrian draped _all over him_ , one hand playing idly on the back of his neck while the other gestured with his champagne flute. Alfeegi's mouth was starting to turn wobbly; oh, there was going to be an outburst soon. He had to get Alfeegi out of there before he blew it.

"Your Majesty," he said, dropping a quick curtsey. "Miss Alliandre?"

Alfeegi almost jumped up, so obviously glad for an excuse to get free of Eldrian's clutches. "Yes, Rosette?"

Eldrian, noticing Alfeegi's escape, followed him to his feet. "Is there a problem, Miss Rosette?" he said, putting a possessive arm around Alfeegi. His hand was back in his hair again, brushing a stray curl back behind his ear. Alfeegi was going pink, but _letting_ him, and since when was _anyone_ allowed to touch Alfeegi so casually? He was drawn to Eldrian's fingers, beringed and glittering, catching and stroking like he _owned_ him and could do this whenever he liked, and if he didn't have to worry about screwing up their mission, he would have _loved_ to see Alfeegi throw a punch or too in that smarmy face. And add a couple himself; god, the man was a leech. No wonder Lykouleon hadn't wanted to leave Raseleane or Cernozura around a man who couldn't keep _his fucking hands_ to himself.

Ahem. He coughed daintily, and thought fast.

"There's been a slight problem which requires your attention, my lady," he said, curtseying again apologetically. "I apologize for disturbing you, but could you..."

"Of course," Alfeegi said, far too quickly, and Eldrian's face darkened for a moment before he covered it over into his usual benign expression, but Ruwalk had seen it and filed it away for future reference. He'd always _known_ he was suspicious.

"Later, then, my dear," Eldrian said, trailing his hand through those curls one last time. "The night is still young, after all." He flashed a smile of blindingly white teeth, and strode off to join another group of nobles gathered by the fireplace.

"Finally," Alfeegi said grumpily once they were free of the room. "What took you so long? Do you know how _boring_ the man is?"

His pleasure at the dance had dissipated at his anger at Eldrian. "Sorry, I was... caught up. Did you learn anything?"

"Nothing. All he did was talk about himself and his search for a woman who could match him." Alfeegi frowned. "You'll have to entertain him tomorrow while I get into his books."

"I look forward to it," Ruwalk said drily, and Alfeegi's frown deepened even further.

"At least you didn't have to put up with him tonight. The man is like an octopus," Alfeegi complained, fussing with his hair, trying to put everything back into place. It still looked exactly like someone had been running their hands through it. That shouldn't have annoyed Ruwalk as much as it did—Alfeegi had been in no danger, he was sure; his loyalty to Lykouleon didn't stretch to allowing himself to be groped publicly, or at least he hoped like hell it didn't- but he couldn't help it for some reason.

"Here, let me do it," he said finally, batting Alfeegi's hand away. "You're just going to make it worse."

Some of the pins had been knocked out, and the coil of hair at the back of his head was starting to come loose. They paused in the hallway as Ruwalk fished out the stray pins from the mass of curls. He was sure it hadn't looked like Alfeegi had so much hair before. It was softer than he would have thought, silky and slippery and smelling faintly of something floral; lavender perhaps.

"He didn't... did he?" he stumbled, not sure of how to phrase himself.

"I am not _actually_ a maiden, Ruwalk," Alfeegi said.

"Of course, of course," he said quickly, threading a loose lock of hair back into the design. "But if he makes you uncomfortable, I can take over..."

"Did you hear a word I just said? Besides, you don't know a thing about accounting." Alfeegi touched his hair cautiously. "That should hold now."

"Oh. Okay," he said, somehow reluctant to relinquish his hold. "I guess we should get back and see if we can talk to some of Eldrian's people. Find out if anything fishy has been going on lately."

"And I need to speak to Tetheus," Alfeegi said with a frown. Usually it would have looked alarming, but as he currently was, it was almost... cute, though god help him if Alfeegi ever caught wind of that thought. "He's been remiss on his job."

When they found Tetheus, he apologized to Alfeegi for losing track of him in such a way that made him wonder if _Tetheus_ wasn't forgetting Alfeegi wasn't really a woman as well. A (very) buxom redhead watching coyly from nearby suggested Tetheus had recently been subject to some unwanted flirting himself; although undoubtedly very few women would dare approach Tetheus if they had any idea of what they were getting into. The end of the ball was drawing near, the last dance coming up. Ruwalk relished the thought of taking off his heels; oh, the things _pinched_ , and most of the eligible bachelors were probably all snuggled up for the night. And then... the most devilish thought.

"My lady," he said, and it shouldn't have been so easy to simper, maybe he was getting into this a little too much. "Why, you haven't danced a dance all night! We simply must have you dance."

" _Rosette_ ," Alfeegi said, full of meaning somewhere between anger and discomfort. "I really don't think that will be necessary."

"But I insist!" he said; this was really far too much fun. "I want to see you enjoying yourself. Tetheus, why don't you join Miss Alliandre?"

The look on all three faces was hilarious. Alfeegi's expression was openly doubtful, like he was thinking about the correct way for a lady to discipline an unruly servant in public. Tetheus looked like he'd just been bitten by a poisonous snake. The redhead looked... hungry. She eyed Alfeegi jealously, as one would a rival, and Alfeegi caught her gaze and stared back, before tossing his head elegantly.

"Come, Tetheus," Alfeegi said haughtily, holding out his gloved hand, and Tetheus, seemingly more in shock than anything else, took it, and Alfeegi dragged him off to the dance floor.

Ruwalk was expecting a good laugh—it was _Alfeegi_ , after all, and _Tetheus_ , the two least likely dancers in all of Draqueen; they'd stumble around the floor trying not to stand on each other's feet, Alfeegi would forget half the time that he was supposed to be following, and everyone would give Tetheus a wide berth. Instead...

They looked like a postcard, a perfect match. Tetheus was a lot taller than Alfeegi, with that tendency to _crowd_ without meaning to; his sheer size alone was intimidating. Paired together they were like something out a romance novel, a petite, fiery heroine with her darkly handsome lover. Lucky for him neither of them could hear his thoughts. Tetheus was a much better dancer than he would have given him credit for, and Alfeegi was holding up his end well too—while they didn't exactly trip the light fantastic, Alfeegi was nimble enough on his feet from all his training, and, well, all Tetheus had to do was _stand_ there to draw people's attention. They'd drawn onlookers by the time the dance was over, and when they came off the floor Alfeegi was _laughing_ at something Tetheus had said, hand still in his, and Tetheus was almost cracking a smile himself. The entire spectacle was gorgeous. The redhead wasn't the only one gritting their teeth.

He was almost relieved when Eldrian interjected, separating the pair.

"Lovely, lovely, my dear! I must say, that dress is particularly becoming on you." He went to put an arm around Alfeegi's shoulders. A glare from Tetheus convinced him not to. "Will you join us for coffee?"

Alfeegi's eyes flicked quickly to him and he shook his head imperceptibly; he wanted _out_ right now, and Tetheus, from the sudden hardening of his mouth, didn't think it was a good idea either.

"If you'll forgive me," Alfeegi gave a more than passable curtsey, "I find myself rather fatigued from my journey. Please excuse me tonight."

"Oh, my apologies for insisting; of course you must be tired," Eldrian crooned, that hand stroking again from a safe angle Tetheus couldn't see. "Tomorrow, then. And for many days after that, I hope. _Bonne nuit_ , _ma cherié_."

Alfeegi made a pained expression, but Eldrian seemed to interpret it as being distraught at parting, and strolled off contently.

"I can't stand that man," Ruwalk said, louder and with more venom than he'd intended.

"Why are you complaining?" Alfeegi said. "You've only spoken to him once."

"I can dislike him without speaking to him, can't I? Anyway, come, _my lady_ , we'd better get you to bed before you get any more fatigued."

"I don't need you fussing over me," Alfeegi said grumpily. "I can't wait to get out of this dress and take a proper breath, that's all."

"Of course," Ruwalk said soothingly, and motioned to Tetheus to follow. "Come on, let's go over what we've found out and then get some sleep."

*

In Alfeegi's opinion the entire first day had been useless and had only served to bruise his ribs and hurt his feet. While Ruwalk could have wished they'd made a little more progress—the only thing that _had_ progressed was his dislike of that oily leech of a king- he didn't think it quite necessitated being woken up at seven in the morning the day after a ball because Alfeegi needed help getting dressed.

"This is beyond ridiculous," Alfeegi complained as he washed his face, and Ruwalk tried to look more awake in case Alfeegi said something important. "It shouldn't take so long just to put clothes on in the morning."

"I don't think this really counts as morning yet, Alfeegi," he mumbled, looking longingly at his pillow. "Can't we just sleep a little longer?"

"I, unlike some people, have work to do!" Alfeegi snapped, but since Ruwalk was really still mostly-asleep, and Alfeegi was wearing some gauzy, wispy night-dress that enveloped him fully and hinted at what it covered, it didn't have the intimidating effect he probably wished it did.

"Okay, okay," he said, and swung his feet onto the floor. Oh, his toes hurt from being squashed into those pointy heels. How did women do it every day? "Does my lady know what she would like to wear today?"

"I don't need that from you as well," Alfeegi said, coloured, and then pointed a little self-consciously to the dress draped over the back of the armchair.

"You're going to turn into a fashion plate yet," he teased, in the way he only could when he wasn't aware enough of his words to be able to regret them later. Alfeegi gave him a sour look, and started slipping off his nightgown. After a very pointed cough, Ruwalk averted his eyes.

"I thought we'd established that neither of us were actually women," he said. "Or were you always kind of prudish?"

"I am _not_ prudish," Alfeegi said, actually sounding quite affronted. "There's simply no need for anyone else to witness the depths of my humiliation."

That actually sounded rather tempting, but by the time he whipped his head around, Alfeegi was safely clad in his chemise and stuffing something white and silky into the bottom of his trunk.

"Get on with it already, Ruwalk," he said impatiently, tapping his foot, and oh, yes, Alfeegi was enjoying ordering him around way too much, even if he had to wear a dress in order to be able to do it.

"Yes, _my lady_ ," he said, and took up the corset Alfeegi had put out. They were much heavier than he'd ever remembered, although those times he had been taking them _off_ in hazy anticipation, not trying to put to put one on himself. This one was lighter than yesterday night's, however; having been drilled very thoroughly by Cernozura on which type of corset was appropriate for which occasion, he appreciated the difference. So did his ribs. It was even embroidered, with tiny leaves and vines. Raseleane could be quite sneaky at times. He wondered if Alfeegi had noticed them.

"Well, hurry up already," Alfeegi said impatiently. "I can't do the laces myself, you know."

"Okay, okay," he said placidly, and took the cords in hand.

As he laced Alfeegi up and helped him into his dress: green lawn and high-necked, appropriate for daytime work with just the slightest touches of lace at collar and sleeve, and a skirt that was positively narrow in comparison to last night's ball gown (although that only meant one petticoat instead of twice that), he kept getting the oddest feeling, but he just couldn't put a finger on it. Perhaps he needed more coffee.

Yes, he decided, as Alfeegi physically harassed him into his own clothing, he needed more coffee.

*

"Surely you don't actually mean to..." Eldrian began weakly as Alfeegi marched sternly into his office, clipboard hugged snugly to his chest. "I mean, surely this can't be of interest to you. Perhaps you'd rather go for a drive? I have some very fine carriages; or do you care more for horse-riding?"

Alfeegi responded by uncapping his ink bottle.

Eldrian threw him a helpless glance, and Ruwalk pretended to be very enthusiastically contemplating his mistress's papers. If Eldrian thought he was actually going to help him catch Alfeegi, he was crazy. Even if the little display last night hadn't turned him right off the man, matchmaking was not so much his thing.

"Now, may I see your records from the last five years?" Alfeegi said briskly.

Eldrian wilted, but he recovered well, eyes brightening, and well, Ruwalk had to give him that. He was persistent.

"An intelligent woman is a true gift to mankind," he murmured, and relinquished a stack of accounts. "For you, my dear, the last _fifteen_."

All the books showed signs of being recently handled, more than just being pulled off a shelf. Now, what other reason would Eldrian have for suddenly becoming interested in fifteen year old records, other than checking for any discrepancies that might incriminate him? He exchanged a glance with Alfeegi. Even with all that powder on, he could still _see_ Alfeegi's mind ticking over.

"And where is your accountant?"

"On leave at the moment, I'm afraid," Eldrian said with a blinding smile that was obviously supposed to distract Alfeegi from asking too many tricky questions. "An emergency, he told me."

Alfeegi tapped one long, painted fingernail against the page in thought. Ruwalk didn't have to be a mind-reader to catch his drift: _how very convenient_. His accountant couldn't spill anything under Lykouleon's interrogators if Alfeegi couldn't question him.

"May I have some time to look over these?" Alfeegi requested, somehow managing to make it sound like a suggestion rather than an outright command.

"O-of course!" Eldrian said, probably wishing like hell he could say no but realizing he'd only make himself look worse. "Take all the time you need, but I don't know what you're expecting to find. Do come join me when you get tired—" his voice suggested that he expected this would happen very quickly, as if Alfeegi was just playing at book-keeping, "I have a very nice hermitage if you would care to take a walk."

"Rosette, would you please accompany His Majesty?" Alfeegi said, and _that_ statement was only pretending to be a suggestion. "I must not have any distractions."

"Of course, my lady," he said, but honestly, Eldrian looked about as thrilled about the prospect as he was. There were about a hundred other things that were more appealing than spending any more time than he had to with that slimebag, and he had to be able to do at least a few of them in petticoats. Instead, he plastered a suitably docile smile on his face. "Shall we, Your Majesty."

"I suppose so," Eldrian said, tone clearly indicating that he thought he was above slumming with his object of desire's maid. And okay, he actually was, but still. Ruwalk wasn't exactly chopped liver; he was a pretty hot woman himself, if Eldrian bothered to notice. Not that he particularly wanted him to, but maybe if it got him to leave Alfeegi alone... "Perhaps there are a few questions I can ask you about Miss Alliandre."

"Such as, Your Majesty?"

"Is she single?" Eldrian asked.

And what, he was worried about that _now_? After yesterday's performance? It was tempting—incredibly tempting- to say no, if he thought that would actually deter Eldrian. But unfortunately, Alfeegi's ring finger was conspicuously bare.

"Yes," he said reluctantly. "But she—she—" She _what_? Didn't like men? Was recently widowed? Had some kind of highly infectious venereal disease? What could he say that would keep Eldrian at bay? "—has a very particular taste in men. She entertains only the very best."

"A devoted servant, I see," Eldrian said, stroking his chin. "A particular taste, you say?"

"Oh, yes. Very particular," Ruwalk said desperately. "She only likes brown-haired men." Eldrian's hair was as dark as midnight. "And she doesn't like people who are very much taller than her." Eldrian was over six foot. "And they must be able to discuss her work. She's extremely intelligent, you see." If Eldrian had a brain cell in his head, Ruwalk would eat his hat. That should get rid of him.

"I see," Eldrian mused. "Indeed, an extraordinary woman."

He looked even more determined than before. Ruwalk cursed himself.

"What about yourself, Your Majesty?" he said, as coquettishly as he could. "I'm sure you must have princesses from all over the country knocking down your door."

"Well," Eldrian said, not at all modestly. "None like the Lady Alliandre, of course."

Any wetter and there was a real risk of drowning. Ruwalk made a show of fanning himself to hide his grimace.

"What are her hobbies?" Eldrian asked.

_As if you're really interested_. "Oh...accounting and mathematics...absolutely devoted to her work, you see. She also enjoys chess," what other dreary and boring hobbies could he make up for Alfeegi? "And reading...mostly non-fiction."

There. That should do it. There was absolutely nothing interesting about Alliandre. Alfeegi was hardly a conversationalist, either, so it wasn't like Eldrian would enjoy talking to him. He could more than hold up his end in an argument, Ruwalk had to admit, and could spot the flaw in the most persuasive logic, as he had experienced many, many, many times, but that was no use in flirting. Eldrian probably hated it when women disagreed with him. He would have no idea how to handle Alfeegi...

What was he thinking? Alfeegi wasn't actually a girl. Their only real problem was how to prevent Eldrian from realizing it for long enough to Alfeegi to get what he needed so they could go back to Draqueen and 'Alliandre' and 'Rosette' could mysteriously disappear.

"A lady of quiet, indoor pursuits, I see," Eldrian mused. "I mistepped with my offer of a walk. There must be some activity more suited to her particular tastes," was he actually taking notes? "Thank you, my dear Rosette. You've been most helpful."

_Don't talk down to me that! I outrank you!_ Ruwalk seethed, forgetting his guise for a moment until Eldrian subtly took his elbow to turn him back the way they'd come. "I must be getting back. Lady Alliandre must be waiting for me."

Alfeegi would only be getting _started_ with the records. Ruwalk plastered on a sweet smile. "Oh, but King Eldrian, I was cooped up in the carriage all day yesterday. I'd love to walk a little longer in the fresh air."

Eldrian wavered. Clearly, he didn't want to spend any longer than he had to with Ruwalk. That was fine; the feeling was entirely mutual. But it showed poor hospitality on his behalf to turn down a lady's request (gag), as totally understandable and reasonable a request as it was (nice thinking there). In addition, it would hardly endear him to Alliandre if her maid reported back that he was rude and uncaring. Ruwalk could almost see the mice that powered the wheel running Eldrian's brain panting.

"Well, a little longer then," Eldrian allowed, sliding an arm around Ruwalk's shoulders. "In which case, you must tell me more about yourself, dear Rosette." His smile oozed. Making sure of plan B, was he? Alfeegi better have made progress on the records.

Ruwalk smiled.

*

"I'm exhausted," Ruwalk said, and flopped down on the bed, ignoring Alfeegi's warning about creasing his dress. "I hope you had a more productive time than I did."

Alfeegi swiveled around from his notes. "Are you... okay?"

Ruwalk snorted. "I'm fine. It's not me he's interested in, it's you. He only wanted to know about you. I wasn't in any danger."

Alfeegi grimaced. "Still, he is rather..." Alfeegi trailed off, searching for words. There were too many that applied in this situation.

"Never mind that," Ruwalk said, rolling over in a rustle of tulle. "What did you find out?"

"Well, he's clearly altered his records, but I knew that from the start," Alfeegi mused, tapping pen against paper. "And recently, too. Obviously he wasn't at all concerned about being found out until he realized we would be auditing him this year. It's almost embarrassing."

How like Alfeegi. Not angry at the deception, but ashamed at their poor accounting skills.

"So what's he doing? Fudging his taxes? Squirreling money away somewhere?"

"He has rather too _much_ money," Alfeegi said thoughtfully. "This is a small kingdom, and the land isn't that productive. Considering that, even allowing for his status Eldrian's personal income is extraordinarily high."

"I didn't realize you were also checking his personal records," Ruwalk said, and shrank away when Alfeegi glared at him. Okay, he shouldn't have brought that up, and it was also very like Alfeegi. Completely thorough, and not terribly choosy in method, for all he scolded Kai-stern for doing exactly the same thing. "Wait a second. How did you even get access to his personal records?"

Alfeegi was thoughtful for a moment. "Let us just say that once Eldrian finds out his butler will probably be fired."

Ruwalk laughed, and then stopped.

"You _didn't_. No way!"

Alfeegi arched an eyebrow.

"No," Ruwalk denied. "There is absolutely no way you would ever do such a thing."

"I have my ways," Alfeegi said loftily, turning back to his quill with a flourish. "Now, if you don't mind, I have to get this message to Lykouleon. I believe taking care of my post is a matter for my servant," and dropped the little roll of parchment on Ruwalk's head.

"I quit," he said mournfully.

Alfeegi poked him with his sharpener. "Then you'll be glad to know that we'll be returning to Draqueen much earlier than I'd planned."

"Really?" Ruwalk bolted up straight, clenching the precious parchment in his fist. He could have kissed it. Or Alfeegi. 

Alfeegi looked satisfied, or more correctly, smug. "I have more than enough evidence to require Eldrian's presence in Draqueen. I'm sure Tetheus will also be very interested in what he has to say."

Ruwalk barely restrained himself from a victorious fist pump. A visit that was supposed to last a week, over in three days? Alfeegi was amazing. No more petticoats getting in his way. No more lace scratching his skin. No more high heels hurting his feet. For this, he would _run_ to the post stop.

"As you wish," he said, dropping an untidy curtsey, unable to keep the grin off his face.

He was just glad to get back to Draqueen, that was all. That the man was an octopus was a contributing factor, sure (and uh, was he going to accompany them back to Draqueen? He hoped—prayed—more preparation was required before welcoming him to the castle) and he'd be glad to get away from his clutches, but mostly he wanted Alfeegi to get back to being his normal self: wearing sensible shoes, throwing inkwells and swearing when he thought no one could hear him.

He practically hummed all the way to the post drop.

Of course, this did mean the end to his new familiarity with Alfeegi's half-naked form...the little touches helping him get dressed...

Never mind Eldrian, first he needed a good slapping. Alfeegi would gleefully murder him if he knew Ruwalk was entertaining such thoughts about his esteemable personage. 

No, it was really better not to think of such things. He focused on the nasty way Eldrian's eyes followed any attractive woman in the room, and felt better.

His errand disposed of, hopefully to Alfeegi's satisfaction, he turned the key in the lock to find Alfeegi and Eldrian in a passionate embrace.

No, that wasn't right.

He rubbed his eyes, and closed the door.

He must be seeing things.

There was no way Alfeegi would let Eldrian anywhere near him, knowing now that not only was he the worst kind of womanizer, but a lying, cheating thief at that. Alfeegi wouldn't allow him to grasp his shoulders like that. Alfeegi wouldn't close his eyes. His face wouldn't be flushed pink.

Ruwalk threw open the door again.

Nope, Eldrian really was leaning over Alfeegi, and looking mighty guilty about it as well.

"What are you doing?" he snapped, recoiling when his voice came out deep. Luckily Eldrian looked too panicked to notice.

"I didn't do anything! When I came in she fainted..."

"Fainted?" and before he knew it he'd rushed to Alfeegi's side. "Al-Alliandre?" He shook Alfeegi by the shoulders, but no reaction. "Are you okay?"

Eldrian was inching slowly out of the room, but Ruwalk let him go.

"Alfeegi! Speak to me!"

He wanted to slap himself, but the words instinctively came out. What terrible romance novel was he imitating? Think clearly!

Should he call for a doctor? If the charade got out it would ruin Alfeegi's hard work, and probably cause a diplomatic incident for Lykouleon.

He turned his ear towards Alfeegi's mouth. He was breathing, at least, if shallowly.

Underneath his blush, Alfeegi's skin was so pale, but when Ruwalk touched his cheek tentatively he was warm, the faint scent of flowers clinging to his skin...and this really wasn't the most appropriate time to be having this kind of revelation, was it?

Alfeegi's breath stuttered again, and Ruwalk's chest clenched in panic. Alfeegi had never had any health problems, had he? No, he was fastidious about diet and exercise. He'd never missed a day of work due to illness, either. Alfeegi was like a rock. He never got sick.

Had... Eldrian done something to him? Given him something so he could...

He knew Alfeegi wasn't really a woman, but Eldrian didn't.

"Alfeegi, wake up!" he said as loudly as his voice allowed, and slapped him. Gently. Not so much that Alfeegi would be angry with him when he woke up. No response. Alfeegi's cheek was damp with sweat.

With no choice left but to call the doctor, he decided to at least make Alfeegi comfortable before the inevitable embarrassing denouement. He rested Alfeegi's head on one of the stupid satin pillows (not comparing the feel to Alfeegi's hair, not at all), and then paused.

Alfeegi would probably be mad if he undressed him. No, scratch that, he would definitely be mad. It wouldn't end in just inkwells. But he couldn't possibly sleep comfortably dressed as he was. Maybe if he left the slip and just took off the outer layer?

It was hard to undress someone who wasn't cooperating. It involved a lot of careful tugging and Alfeegi's limbs flopping around, but even after he'd extricated his dress Alfeegi still didn't wake up. Suddenly afraid, Ruwalk felt for his pulse, but he was still breathing. Of course. Alfeegi wasn't actually a woman. What was he getting so afraid for? He loosened the stays of Alfeegi's corset a little—Alfeegi would definitely be mad if he went any further, but it had to be hard to breathe in that thing. He was starting to feel a little faint from the panic and exertion himself, and sat down in the loveseat next to the bed.

He pulled the bedcovers over Alfeegi to keep him warm, and wondered if Eldrian had run off to prevent Tetheus beating the hell out of him, or if he was actually a decent person and had gone to call the physician.

Where was Tetheus, anyway? He'd probably know what to do in this situation. Ruwalk was about to go call him, when Alfeegi sighed, and turned a little under the covers.

"Alfeegi!" he called, shaking his shoulders, but no response. There must be something he could do. He cast around the room wildly, throwing open the drawers of the bedside cabinet.

He hit on something small and hard and drew it out.

Smelling salts!

Had Alfeegi been conscious enough, Ruwalk definitely would have been slapped then, and he'd cheerfully admit that he deserved. Thank god for Raseleane and Cernozura.

Ruwalk loosened the cork of the bottle, resisting the temptation to pinch his nose-the stuff smelled terrible!- and wafted it in Alfeegi's face. Alfeegi's brows drew together automatically, which made him smile. Then he coughed. And opened his eyes.

"What is that foul-smelling thing you're trying to force down my throat?" Alfeegi demanded, thrusting Ruwalk's hand away. The powder spilled everywhere, and Alfeegi looked down in dismay. "What exactly is going on, and are you actually trying to kill me?" He brushed at his bodice, which was only making it worse.

"I was saving your life!" Ruwalk protested, and then when Alfeegi gave him the Look, "well, your maidenly chastity at least."

"I trust you're going to explain that remark," Alfeegi said at length.

"Eldrian tried to kiss you; you freaked and passed out," Ruwalk said, even though he hadn't been there of course, but knowing the unsavoury nature of Eldrian's character it seemed more than likely.

"I don't believe that. Even in my sartorially incapacitated state I'm more than capable of slapping Eldrian." Alfeegi paused. "With ladylike delicacy, of course."

The idea that Alfeegi, even cross-dressing Alfeegi was capable of doing _anything_ delicately took him for a moment, but Alfeegi's mouth had a definite pout to it that usually led to _Ruwalk_ being hit next.

"Of course," he soothed; Alfeegi mollified. "Anyway, when I came back from dropping off your post you had passed out and Eldrian ran off. I put you to bed, you woke up eventually and here we are!" He finished with a smile, wishing he hadn't added that he'd been the one to undress Alfeegi.

"How long was I out for?" Alfeegi scrambled for his pocketwatch with great alarm. "I distinctly remember I was having a very important discussion with Eldrian, and if he's run off he's probably destroying all the evidence right now."

"About twenty minutes, maybe?" Ruwalk estimated.

" _Twenty minutes_?!" Alfeegi said as if he'd said twenty hours, and made for the door.

"You've got no clothes on!" Ruwalk protested, and Alfeegi looked down like he'd just realized.

"Well, hurry up and do something useful," Alfeegi said impatiently. "While you were sitting around twiddling your thumbs, Eldrian's secret records are conveniently disappearing!"

"Excuse me for worrying about you," Ruwalk muttered, knowing Alfeegi wasn't in the state to hear or listen, and drew Alfeegi's overdress off the chair. Alfeegi could hardly stand still long enough for Ruwalk to do up the buttons, nervous energy palpable. He stamped his feet into his boots.

"Your hair..." Ruwalk said, and Alfeegi turned the look of death onto him. "It's fine, of course." (It was fine, of course, like silk through his hand... not thinking about that, no).

Alfeegi threw the door open, ready to march off and arrest Eldrian with his bare hands and inflict his own particular brand of accounting justice... and stopped, nonplussed.

"I believe this is what you were looking for," Tetheus said, holding a sulky Eldrian by the collar with one hand and a sheaf of parchments (slightly singed around the edges) in the other.

Alfeegi's eyes practically turned into hearts. It was disgusting. There was no one else in the room to him. Eldrian's mouth turned down even more, if such a thing was possible. Ruwalk caught a sideways glimpse of his own expression in the mirror and quickly assumed a smile. He was the one who saved the girl, but Tetheus got the credit for saving the day (okay, Alfeegi wasn't really a girl and Tetheus really had saved the day, but that wasn't the issue!)

"Arrest him immediately, as well as any of his other staff you find lurking around," Alfeegi ordered, and Tetheus nodded.

Eldrian looked at Alfeegi mournfully. "You deceived me, you lying tramp."

Alfeegi didn't look overly offended by this, likely secure in the knowledge that he was neither and high on the adrenaline of his (Tetheus') successful arrest.

Ruwalk, on the other hand, was winding up a really good right hook before he caught the pointed look Tetheus was giving him and it changed into a cracking slap across Eldrian's smarmy face.

"Why, you..." Eldrian lunged at him, but Tetheus' hands were as sure as handcuffs. 

"Don't you dare speak of Lady Alliandre that way," Ruwalk said in that prim manner Alfeegi had mastered so well, subtly drawing Alfeegi behind him.

Eldrian sneered. "I see. It's like that, is it."

Alfeegi peeked out from Ruwalk's back, looking genuinely confused. "And what exactly do you mean by "that," might I ask?"

"I _thought_ your woman was overly protective of you, even allowing that she is your maid," Eldrian continued as if Alfeegi hadn't spoken. Alfeegi hated being ignored more than anything else. The twitch between his eyebrows jumped into life. "It's not nice to lead a man on, my Lady. Not all men are gentlemen such as I."

If Eldrian was a gentleman, Ruwalk would eat his fascinator.

"Please also allow me to say," Eldrian went on, "that of course I cannot control my guests' employees, I do think it's dreadfully gauche to bring your pillow friend along with you to a gentleman's manor, however convenient it may be."

"I... _what_?"

Uh-oh. Once Alfeegi digested that statement he was going be very angry. Things were going to fly.

"If you're _that_ devoted to her, of course, you could have simply invited Miss Rosette along." Eldrian paused, as if imagining it. Ruwalk tried very hard not to, and failed.

(Of course Alfeegi wasn't really a girl, and neither was Ruwalk) (But what if he was?) All that silk and creamy skin, flushed and inviting and... Ruwalk checked Eldrian's expression and hoped that he wasn't so obvious about it. At least his mouth wasn't gaping like a fish.

"Your Majesty," Alfeegi said, superbly steady and controlled in the way that meant he was anything but. He paused. In fear of what might come out of Alfeegi's mouth next, Ruwalk hurried to intervene.

"Of course the Lady Alliandre would do no such thing. I assure you, Your Majesty, that our relationship is strictly that of employer and employee," he cooed. If the employee was permitted to occasionally have Bad Thoughts about his employer. "I apologize most  
sincerely for the misunderstanding. Both the Lady Alliandre and myself have only the highest respect for you and your house."

There. That should satisfy him. Ruwalk resisted the urge to look for some water to wash his mouth out.

"I always knew there was something strange about the two of you," Eldrian said, doubt dripping from each word. "I just couldn't put my finger on it."

When Ruwalk met Alfeegi's eyes the same alarm was reflected there. Could Eldrian possibly be catching on? Was he actually intelligent enough to work them out?

Tetheus caught their urgency, and yanked Eldrian by the ruff of his neck.

"If you please, I will accompany His Majesty to the nearest magistrate for the crime of assaulting Lady Alliandre," Tetheus said, his voice majestically full of gravel. "Rosette, please see to Lady Alliandre."

_Please see to_ meant _calm down_ -Alfeegi was jumping out of his skin.

"Immediately," he said, almost closing the doors on Tetheus' heels.

"I can't believe the nerve of him," Alfeegi said, sinking ungracefully onto the divan. "Eldrian, I mean. Thinking I wouldn't notice."

"Are you okay?" Ruwalk asked, touching his shoulder in concern.

"I just need a moment to process how anyone can be so incredibly stupid." Alfeegi drew a deep breath and rested a hand over his eyes. 

Of course. The books. Alfeegi wasn't worried about... the other thing. The other thing, that now Alfeegi's eyes were covered, all he could look at was Alfeegi's mouth. Alfeegi's mouth. Which Eldrian may or may not have been kissing.

Alfeegi's glossy...pink...mouth...

"Alfeegi..." The words slipped from his mouth by accident, sounding more like whining that he wished. As much as he tried he couldn't really think of anything to blame Alfeegi for; Alfeegi was just Alfeegi, the same as he always was.

"What is it?" Alfeegi shifted his hands a crack, peeking out at him from under heavy black eyelashes, and Ruwalk shifted uncomfortably. Damn. This was not a good situation. This could not end well.

"Maybe you should get changed, we should go back to Draqueen now you've caught your man," he tried. Draqueen would get him away from petticoats and perfume. Draqueen was safe. Draqueen would prevent him from...from leaping on Alfeegi right now.

"I suppose so," Alfeegi mused. "I can't wait to get back to Draqueen and interrogate that greasy little man." He paused. "Preferably while wearing trousers." He poked at his skirts, and Ruwalk did not look, absolutely did not look at the flash of ankle revealed. "Help me change, would you?"

"Ah...sure," Ruwalk said weakly, and gave Alfeegi a mock curtsey. Inside he was cursing himself.

Of course he would have to help Alfeegi get undressed. A contortionist couldn't undo all those buttons by themselves, and who else was there to help? The problem was that he really, _really_ did want to help Alfeegi get undressed. 

At least, as he set trembling fingers to the first button, this way he couldn't see Alfeegi's face.

"Well?" Alfeegi said impatiently after a while, and he realized with a start that he'd just been staring at the nape of Alfeegi's neck, breathing in the subtle scent of his perfume.

"I think I'll... get changed first. I can't move around properly in these clothes. And it's really hot," he said in a rush. Alfeegi turned to face him and raised one delicate eyebrow. Ruwalk was hot, all right. Alfeegi was as cool as a cucumber.

"As you will," Alfeegi said, as if he had no intention of moving or at least covering his eyes in a maidenly fashion.

"Well, turn around at least!" he said, accompanied by an awkward hand gesture that was meant to convey his distress and only made Alfeegi sigh ostentatiously and cover his eyes.

"Thirty seconds. Twenty-nine, twenty-eight..." and Ruwalk leapt into his trousers, shoving everything his dress had kindly covered down underneath buttons and zips. "three, two..."

"Okay, I'm decent," he announced with false bravado. "Let's do you now."

Alfeegi had been busy setting his clothes out: sensible, Alfeegi clothes that covered everything and revealed nothing. All that lay between them and normalcy was three layers of cloth. He could do this.

Alfeegi gathered his hair out of the way. Ruwalk rolled the first button between his finger and his thumb. This was okay. He could feel cotton underneath his fingertips; sensible, unfashionable cotton. The small, embroidered buttons slipped away one by one; Alfeegi was standing before him in nothing but his cotton shift in what seemed like no time at all.

Alfeegi let his hair down, the faint scent of cinnamon, or something that was sweet but spicy and all Alfeegi clinging to the air; and Ruwalk was screwed, he was totally screwed and putting his hands on Alfeegi's shoulders and spinning him around to face him. _So_ screwed.

Alfeegi's mouth was sweet and sticky with something that Ruwalk both wanted to wipe off and taste over and over again. Alfeegi made a muffled sound that was probably surprise with a side dish of intent to murder. Doing this made him no different to Eldrian—well, at least he knew Alfeegi wasn't actually a woman—but the colour in his cheeks, the tangle of his hair—they couldn't be from anyone else.

Not actually a woman—but an excuse to hold him like one, and Ruwalk pressed him against the wall. Not firm enough to hurt, and enough leeway for Alfeegi to get away if he wanted to (if he tried really, really hard).

"Really, Ruwalk," Alfeegi said once Ruwalk had to take a break to get himself minimally under control otherwise he was going to rip Alfeegi's shift off here and now goddamnit, "That's no way to treat a lady."

The smugness dripping off every syllable...Alfeegi made a show of wanting to fix his hair where Ruwalk had disturbed some precious strand, and Ruwalk had to reluctantly let one wrist go.

"You're going to bruise me," Alfeegi pointed out, and there went the other one. Nothing to stop Alfeegi now, and Ruwalk closed his eyes and braced himself for the death of a thousand slaps. Silence. Any moment now. Rustling.

"Keep your eyes shut," Alfeegi warned. More rustling; Alfeegi murmuring in annoyance. Was he actually...taking off his clothes? Wow, Alfeegi moved fast.

"Are you sure..." he started to say, only to be interrupted by Alfeegi snorting.

"You only wish you were that lucky."

Since Alfeegi was obviously well enough to be insulting him, Ruwalk opened his eyes. Alfeegi was standing before him clad in his usual gear, lacing up his boots.

"Then what—"

"If you would allow me to speak," Alfeegi said, totally disregarding the fact that he was the one not letting Ruwalk finish any of his sentences. "I will have nothing to do with any of this here."

"Okay," Ruwalk said, momentarily stupefied by his sudden and yet inevitable rejection. "Wait, does that mean it would be okay in Draqueen?"

Alfeegi coughed delicately, covering his mouth with his hand. Unfortunately for him it didn't completely cover his blush. Ruwalk knew he must be grinning like an idiot and tried (and failed) not to show it.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Hurry up and take the luggage down already; you're officially still my servant until we get back to the castle." Alfeegi pointed to the trunks.

Technically speaking that was Tetheus' job, but Ruwalk, triumphant, victorious, was unfazed.

"Yessir," he said, hoisting the first high up over his shoulder. Alfeegi rolled his eyes.

"Really, you have no delicacy at all, as a man _or_ as a woman," he said, sweeping past Ruwalk and the assorted luggage that was going to take him at least three trips to carry down. "Try not to injure yourself. I require you to be in one piece."

"I'll try," Ruwalk said, this time making no attempt to disguise his expression before, unused to wearing flat shoes, promptly catching his heel on the carpet. 

Alfeegi giggled (doing a similarly poor job of covering it) and offered Ruwalk his hand.

~end~


End file.
